An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building. A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Channel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, looks both beautiful women in the eye, bends over, and lets out a most foul-smelling fart. She leaves the stunned women in a cloud of funk, saying "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound."
A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded."
I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
dunno hwo to start this post leh
er.ok i just started it
yesyesyes
sec3 life is really hectic but can manage one
lit is as good as always
so is chemistry
but physics is really jia lat. cannot understand miss punitha.nvm gt tuition
maths is good just that i dont work hard for maths. thats why score 3/20 so sad rite but i got over it in half and hour.
i promise not only pass but score in my next a maths test. I PROMISE.
el and hcl is both okay
hcl test tomoro study like mad jus now. can write all the sheng zi of chpt 1-3 tomoro wake up early call my mom test me
tomoro got pe again! and parade! woo. dont u just love fridays.
this week went by too quickly alr. mon is like to me just yesterday but tomolo is fri le
okay no link.
need to go polish my boots alr. but think one layer cna shine alr.BB day alr do till sui sui
I HATE CHOCOLATESBUT I LOVE EATING THEMmuhahaha(jinshun laughter)enjoy ur weekend and dont miss me until pants drop.
103th post.
cant believe the weekend is coming to an end alr
and i finish my homework. and reaslised how to get from cerulean city to the next one(pokemon on my handphone-.-!)
nothing much to blog about.
except that too many people are getting emo nowadays cos elmo bit their nose-.-!
finally cny is coming this year cny is like taking such a long time la. i remember like always after new year then is chinese new year alr this time like so long
im in need of a shoe. lost one pair during yi camp and my puma one spoil alr.any recommendation?
oh yea. still in state of shock my sis got 9points for olevel.
then i will be very pressurized alr lor. always is i mus get higher than her
nvm. i shall work hard and i mean it.(they always say that dont they?-.-!)
yawns. okay i shall go do qt and sleep alr.
hope i can open my locker tomoro-.-
happybirthday smecksy wife. im the last to wish u leh.
yaode birthday coming. he bought me basketball last year(BASKET!)
okay i buy him tennis ball.
oh ya. leave out all the rest by lp rocks ur socks.
HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY LIM SEH LOK. cant believe ur older than me la.sorry for posting this late. u know what i was doing;)cheerios.no emoing during birthday.
101th post alr.
had sec 1 orientation yesterday
was rather messy and disorganised
still, we got 15 recruits! bahaha
slacked at mac with joyce and siwei. at the bus stop liying used some card thingy to fan her self and it made a blub blub blub sound which was belly farni. then mermorised joyce pencil case which said 'minna wa dokokana?' and we replied paku paku! siwei can make very farni expressions by saying mom and dad in korean. lol. UM-MA! APPA! lol
ohya.it was also likhoon's b'day. really cant tell she is 20 cos rather short(er insult or compliment?)
then after that went out with the chia family. we waste 13 dollars plus to go bugis watch nc16 show
but we were wearing our camp tee and our gae was rather obvious.went jp watch 27 dresses. some romantic show that was rather funny.ELECTRIC B***S. ahaha. siwei claims i will lose my phone whenever i lose it.
cos after sining that i realised my phone dropped out of pocket.had to go back take. tot just buy then lose.so scary.bus-ed home with liying.keep thinking she alight alr cos so short cannot see.JOKING! bahaha.
really dont know whats up with her. keeps getting angry for no reason. zzz. sick of it alr la. jenny!what's the problem-.-
oh ya. hope i can pass my physics test.bored at msn. cant some one come online.
MY 100th POSTyup.it's finally herebut i dont really have alot of things to post onargh. was doing physics just nowuntil i jus threw away my graph paperbeing in best class is really though lor teachers expect so much from unvm i shall keep trying till i get ithiring physics teachers. i really dotn get the SI unit plus minus and the graph thingkwung teng so pro teach me laaw shit man i am so tired and i have to memorise the chem formulae and everythingthanks la ug campthe ug camp is okay just that i really didnt gain anything useful out of itin fact it made me very sleepy thru out my lessons todayand im surprised to know that there are girls that are more horny than boys-.-!argh cant login into the online maths thingxinping cant even write chong shii delete the convo alr if not i would have posted itsld change to xinpig lol JKING LAall in all, i really miss wearing short pants(and i'd really didnt expect my self to say that)and of course 2e3being in 2e3 somehow makes learning much easierargh. rewind pleasei want to sit beside liying and flick her ears so she will poke me with her pensand irritate chanel sing baptise in the river/longkang numb with burhan and yaodeargh dont sya alr lasay liao dont nid sleep lor so many thingsi SERIOUSLY NEED SCIENCES TUITIONmr chin please help if u are reading):okay i shall mermorise my chem nowi really dont get u la. i am really really sick of u alr la. ur too flirty for ur own good.i give up like totally if u are reading this u would find this familiar.no im not talking abt anything else except for u u asked me on msn and i lied.i realised today i can live without u.so bye out of my life.i dont want u to be the focus of my life. i want God to be my centre of focus.please go awayI close both blinds and turn away.Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.
MY 99th post
WHOO finally got rid of my cute musem phone
bahaha
it's the same as hanrui's phone
i see many pppl complaining abt sec3 life. yes jenise i read ur blog
and how much 2e3 ppl misses me
had some health check today. i finally learnt from jeaa how to say handsome in korean
and i now know why she dosent want to tell me
cos it sounds like my name
in korean, handsome is
OIE ZHANG(OI ZHANG)adjectiveused to describe people with nice body features eg (me)jeaa was like so pissed with me after i kept asking her and she went what is ur problem?(shouting this while smiling how smart)
finally can talk with the chio korean girl that has a very cheem name and is a walking miracle(she has a bag around half of MY bag size-.- korean power issit)
alex still havent come to schl yet
wonder how he going to catch up
okay, i know i sldnt be on9 often but i love my blog too much
Man Utd 6 Newcastle 0
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
and all of the goals are scored during second half
c.ronaldo hat tricked.(see wife? c.ronaldo rocks) first ever hat trick in man utd
ifeel like some soccer reporter or wad
it's a good job lo. sports reporter u get to watch the matches live
yaode finally brought the ball today. played before schl, durin recess and aft schl
so long never play alr, recess play for awhile almost tot i turned asmathic(sp?)
still okay, four goals in 3 matches(yup i AM showing off)
nothing much to blog abt alr. except that my ant bites are getting worse
the pus is really disgusting then around the bite the skin is like very sticky becos layers upon layers of pus dried there. then i bathe also dont dare wash cos the scab of the bite would come off then more pus comes out
and there's another ug camp and i got hcl tuition aft camp.
awesome eh?
MY MISSION TRIP REPORT FOR BB NEWS! ENJOY!(:
Mission Trip 07 report Whenever the december holidays approaches, i would start to get out my markers and highlighters and draw on that certain day when i would be able to embark on mission trip. Mission trip. The term itself would cause a sudden rush of blood into my brain and i would be unable to sit still for a few minutes. Oh yes, i garuntee you it is that exciting. Mission trip is a yearly event held by the Church of Singapore Bukit Timah. It sends youths to places in Thailand like Bua Yi, Udon Thani, Khon Kean and many more places to spread the good news of Jesus Christ or Pra Yeshu which is thai for Jesus Christ also, items like blankets are distributed to those in need. Last year, my team in Bua Yi visited schools and taught the students there english, and they in turn teaches us thai. Thailand is well-known as being the Land of Smiles and that is very true, walk along the corridors of the classrooms and you can hear laughter erupting from the classrooms every few minutes. Of course in thailand, there is no such things like 'Monday Blues' because everyday is like a Sunday to them. During their recess, we would even play a friendly match of soccer with the students and build bonds through the international language, soccer. Aye, those were the times! After visiting the schools, we would also hold night rallies at villages where we act out skits and sing Thai songs to entertain the villagers. Also, at the end of every rally, we would invite people that are injured or sick to come up and we would suggest a prayer of healing for them. By God's grace, every single one of them would be healed! The lame could actually make u laugh! Still, on a more serious note, the expressions on the villiagers faces after they are healed is really a once in a lifetime experience. They would repeat 'Kok khun krab/kah' which is thank you in thai profusely, and would attend the local church frequently.For Christians, you would really be able to experience how much the Lord our God loves us. I myself, experienced a miracle healing on the last day of mission trip. The last day of mission trip, is for us to enjoy ourselves and we would be brought to Bangkok to shop till we drop. I remembered vividly that i felt feverish thorughout that day and at night, my temperature was so high that that those sitting next to me could feel my 'hotness'. While resting in my room, my friends came forward and prayed for my fever to be gone i was very touched by them and i told myself, i have prayed for others and they have been healed so i placed my trust in God and guess what? I was the first to wake up the next morning and the first to make prank calls on my friends. So praise the Lord! Yup and that's what i can verbally tell you on mission trip but to experience it for yourself, that's a whole different thing. So why wait? Start buying markers and counting down to mission trip 2008! Yours truly, Coporal Ong Hong Zhang 53rd SIngapore Boy's Brigade Company
I LOVE CLARENCE-.-! incase u can read this is what my wife forced me to do
Wotcher
i jus re read my hairy potty books
and i actually forgot what malfoy's mother name was
and also how to spell expelliarmus
i love my blog too much and i want to hit the 100 post asap(as slow as possible)
ahh. jus finished my lunch. so nice
esp the eggs let cook yandao teach you
1) put two cheese on ur plate
2)break 3 eggs and make sure the cheese is covered by the eggs
3) mix the egg yolk egg shells egg white together with the cheese
4)steam barbecue fry or bake
5)poke holes on the egg and the cheese will ooooooozzzzzeeeeee out
didnt know my mom can cook.
two indian kids were playing outside my house and kept on ringing their bike bells
it was so noisy i couldnt hear myself burp
so i shouted 'eh i dont want ice cream'
then the indian kids replied'we are not even selingl ice cream dah?'
and they laughed and walked away
i simply love my blog.
oh ya still owe mr chin my mt report. lol daryl i havent hand in leh(i used leh!)
okay enjoy ur sunday and try to forget that there is a chem and lit test for me tomoro
not to forget chem remedial
no wonder they say wear long pants very hot.
im really feeling the heat-.-!
okay this 94post is specially dedicated to a unspecial person
i always heard abt how famous u were
until fri then i know u really so kind and caring
u could giv us a totally useful lecture and yet want us to concentrate
and when u praised us, u tot we would get pumpings but no
not everyone is so kind and caring like u
for ur info we played hangman in our room
until we had to return to your interestering lesson so interseting until i dunno how to spell
and also u can prasie people until they cry jus becos u have the power to do so?
aiyah people+power=#$%^%&*(
that's what i elarnt frm u
yea we sld nt bear grudges or anything but u really need a attitude check
having positions in ur cca means u serve people more not people serve u more
lucky ur tiem is over soon and lucky i only have to go thru this once.
ptiy on those under u then
pity my second post has to be like that
really la. please take a break and look back
and dont watch too much transformers and behave totally diff infront of certain people
*you might just notice this post contains a little bit of sacarsm
post number 93
new blog skin(:
i shall not post about my week because everyone is doing that
recruitment drive
rocked~
so many people went to our booth
realised that of the whole sec1 cohort only around 20percent are male the rest are clarences
anyway, many people came becos of the archery and the gb girls came becos of me
think this year we will have many secsones
OH YA getting phone on wed i think
my museum phone no more le
suddenly dont know what to post abtTHANK YOU JACELYN FOR MAKING THIS BLOG A BLOG THAT CAN BE CALLED A BLOG.
oh no.
i still cant believe i didnt do like any of my hols homework
1.last day of school sick didt collect hmk
2.went for korea nearly aft i sick come back frm korea mostly do hmk alr if i print go their workings
3.havent think yet
i believe i will stand outside class tmr but i will promise the tecaher that i will finish my maths by this week
*im forgiving what i've done*
so many things to do!
1-complete my hols hmk
2-send mr chin my BB mt thing
3-blog on my qt
all of these will take me some time
my bag is really very heavy
e maths and a maths alr can die liao
nvm tomolo can dump everything into locker
everyone pls pray for yaode his grandpa injured his hand in a fall
i mean pray for his granpa la
i still cant believe my hcl tutuion class has only 2 people (including me)
madness. but one lesson is 30+
dunno why my father wan waste i rather spend 4 hours doing chinese then he giv me 30+ dolla
okay so ramdom post go sleep alr so tired.
BACK FRM CAMP!
lol it was much better than our sec2 one
but black ants bite my leg. then got pus coming out.cheese pizza anyone?
my class is REALLY alot better than what i expected it to be
sense of humour far byeond i expected
first person i met in camp was fiona
forgot how i talk to her alr. but she's quite sporty la. until she started calling me ahpeh
atleast she didnt pull her fbts up
next would be aloisius(sp?)lol we both got a very common sense of humour(clarence?)
next would be my bunk mates
lol all fo them are okay except for above mentioned
lol esp kc and chris
chris;what is ur weight?
rather fatguy:why u wna know?
chris: if u over a certain amount i dunw an talk to u
person;okay imgoing to tell u who i have a crush on
*SUSPENSE*
person;okay i have a crush on my ex girlfriend
chris:ya which is now my girlf friend
lol if u were at the situation then u will laugh
we laugh so loud till trainers came and scold us
then there is this jiamin
when we drinking a red syrup she said that it is what girls produce monthly
then when she sit behind me in camp she got pelted by bat shot and her hair hands legs bags all got a nice smell
then also have the twins.they are so sacarstic.whenever some one calls my name(handsome) and i respond,they will say im living ina life of denial.lol they are the ones-.-
anyway, im sure i will survive my 2 years in this class and maybe even enjoy it:)
but still, 2e3 will still be the best!
oh ya recruitng people to join acyc similar to aac
current strength is 2.
yayaya
happy new year the sms service thing is getting STUCK
and i tot was no recption kept holding my phone high high
i jus survived my first hour in 2008
wait my first post in 08
mus be interesting
wait i have nothing much to post about.
yawns.
nobody is online AT ALL
all went out or dming alr
nvm i shall go dm
HAPPY NEW YEAR(jenise i wan change blog skin)